My semester is coming to a close and I am more than happy. To say it has been a roller coaster would be an understatement. Long story short, I experienced almost every emotion you can think of in a matter on months. I'm not going to bore you with the details because some things I choose not to relive. However, I will tell you that I was glad I could be a part of new beginnings in the lives of my family and friends.
From all of this, I have learned patience and the importance of faith. I know you're wondering why I'm still learning these principles after all of the encouragement I have given you. These are two of the hardest concepts to maintain. First of all, I consider myself to be a very patient person. It is definitely easier to blow my top and rant and rave at everything, but that usually ends up with high blood pressure and hurt feelings. Neither of which are good for any one's health.
My lessons in patience are not for others, but for me. I had to release control of my own quickness and learn to be patient with myself. I am not perfect. I probably make mistakes on a daily basis. It is not the mistake that is important, but what you take from it. Each day brings new lessons for us to learn and teach our children. I had to realize that my response was teaching my daughter more than my words ever could. I have to practice what I preached and what is preached to me.
Those big brown eyes see everything. I could not be patient in front of her and then do the opposite when she wasn't there. What kind of hypocritical example am I setting? You cannot serve 2 masters. Either you will love the one and hate the other, or hate the one and love the other. For my sake, I had to start thinking before I spoke, looking before I leaped, and crying out while I cried.
I had to learn to develop my own inner peace and find my happy. Obstacles were thrown at me all semester. For a while, it seemed like all of my hard work was in vain and my glasses weren't helping me see any more because the tears and clouds fogged up my view. I could not tell night from day. The world was moving and I was going no where.
That's where faith stepped in. I started talking, walking, and thinking in the dark because I still couldn't see the light. Faith helped me act like my darkness was light. Those glasses could stay foggy as long as they wanted because God grabbed hold of me and became my light. He was there to rub my head and reassure me that everything was going to be alright. He was there to stop the unstoppable and do the impossible. His grace covered me and his mercy forgave me. If I had no -patience, God would not have been able to work. My blessing was coming. I felt it in my spirit. God told me to be still and wait. When the Father speaks, listen the first time!
I'm not even going to lie. Waiting is the worse thing to do when you are uneasy and impatient, but it is the only way you're going to get to the victory lap. We never reach the finish line because there is still more work to be done. However we do get momentary victory laps to share our testimony with other runners. My journey is no where near completion. My faith and patience are being tested every day (twice today). I am committed to not giving up on my life, my marriage, my family, and His vision for my life.
If nothing else, I hope you will begin to seek your own patience and extend your hands towards heaven so that God can grab hold of you. Allow His presence to consume you and comfort you. Replace your will with His and allow God to move in a way that words cannot describe.
God is....my everything. Is He yours?
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